February 21, 2010

be good to yourself

I have a tendency to bottle up all my emotion. I let all the little disappointments and difficulties along with some big things build until I have an emotion explosion and it all comes out is one big, wet mess. The strange part is some little thing that on a normal day is not a big deal triggers the explosion. It’s like the little pebble that starts the rockslide. Why it has to happen in the middle of church I do not know.
I tell myself to stop crying you big baby, but it doesn’t help at all. It also doesn’t help when someone tries to comfort me; it actually increases the tear flow exponentially. Luckily, there wasn’t any sobbing, just quiet tears. The good thing is it doesn’t last very long. I’m fully recovered within a half hour, 45 minutes tops (at least from the tears).
The saying “don’t cry over spilled milk” is generally good advice. Letting all the little disappointments and a few big difficulties build and build and build until I explode at the most inopportune times isn’t good advice either.