good to go

Dating is one of those things in this life that is a necessary evil. While dating can be an enjoyable experience, at times it can be confusing. Guys often wonder, do I hold her hand; do I go for the kiss? While I can't take full credit for this (this advice was recieved from an older and wiser friend several years ago) here are a few guidelines to follow while adventuring in the land ‘o dating.

The steps to a kiss

1. The “Invitation”

Accepts the “invitation” – go to the next step

Denies the “invitation” – it’s over

2. The “Lean”

Accepts the “lean” – go to the next step

Denies the “lean” – it’s over

3. The “Hand Placement”

Good “hand placement” – go to the next step

Bad “hand placement” – it’s over

4. The “Googily Eyes” or the “Triple Tapper”

“Googily Eyes” – go to the next step

“Triple” Tapper” – it’s over

5. The “Kiss”

Accepts the “Kiss” – go back to step 1

Denies the “Kiss” – it’s over

Ok, so these steps might need a little explanation. The “invitation” simply means call and ask the girl out, ask her out in person, just ask the girl out. Guys know the saying you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take, well you are denied 100% of the invitations you don’t extend. If she wants to go, she will find the time. If she repeatedly denies your invitation, move on and find another girl.

The “lean” refers the contact that happens when you’re sitting down at the movie theater and you lean closer to your date so that your arms nearly touch. If she accepts the lean she in turn moves closer. If she denies the lean, she will increase the distance. The concept of the “lean” can also be judged when sitting on the couch; if she sits right next to you when the entire couch is available the lean has been accepted. If she uses the available space on the couch, the lean has been denied.

The “hand placement” is a vital step; it gives permission for you to even think about proceeding to the final step. If there is good “hand placement” the girl’s hand is readily available. It is on her knee or the armrest. It repeatedly brushes against your hand while walking. If this happens you are safe holding that hand. If there is bad “hand placement” the girl’s hand is usually hidden from view, she will fold her arms while sitting and put her hands in her pockets while walking because if you can’t see her hands you can’t hold them.

The “Googily Eyes” refer the look that says I totally want you to kiss me, this usually consist of prolonged looks into the guys eyes with the occasionally glance at the lips. “Googily eyes” are often accompanied with lingering hugs. But be aware of the “triple tapper,” this is the hug equivalent of saying “thanks ole buddy ole pal, you’re my friend so I’ll give you a hug, but don’t even think about anything more.” So if you get a hug with pats on the back, you have just received a “triple tapper.”

Finally we come to the last step, the culmination of the night, the “Kiss!” If you have received the googily eyes, it is a sure thing that a kiss can follow. Now, just because the night might not end with the “kiss” doesn’t mean it wasn’t a success. If you make it through 4 out of the 5 steps the date was a success and feel free to go back to step 1. Steps 1 through 4 are critical to proceeding to step number 5. If any of the previous steps have not taken place do not pass go, do not collect $200.

Unfortunately, every dating situation is different, that is what makes it so evil. The steps to a kiss are just a baseline to judge dating behavior. Best of luck and get dating.